Coming Back to Australia

by - 3:27 PM

Surrounded by the breath-taking panorama of the Moab mountains while hiking the ruins of Petra in Jordan.
It has been a few weeks since I returned from my travels in Israel and Jordan. I have to admit that I have often felt many times, like I'm sinking into a sort of 'limbo' while being back in Australia. Although I'm planning and researching my trip to Africa in December (yikes another ten weeks away!), I am still feeling the effects of walking in the streets of Jerusalem and wandering in the red desert sands of Jordan. Although I am no longer in the Middle East, and I'm trying to live the 'normal' life and finish my last semester of my music degree at the Melbourne Conservatorium, I still feel the rumblings of the Israeli-Gaza conflict and the strange unrest of this mesmerizing land. (Operation Protective Edge was launched on July 8, the day I left Jerusalem for the Druze village of Peqi'in in Northern Israel and the upper Galilee region.)

I have to admit that at times I feel on the edge of boredom while being back in my peaceful, beautiful, lovely Australia. I love being in Melbourne, but at times I just cannot help but cry at the fact that I feel so far away from everything else that has been happening in the world, and all the amazing people I have connected with while traversing Israel. This feeling is so real, it sometimes blinds me to the present of living in Melbourne. I don't always like this feeling, but at the same time, I know that it keeps me alive in some way. It reminds me what I must strive for in the coming years. It fills me with this sense of urgency and actually draws me back to God again and again for guidance.

I don't want to sink into complacency. I really hate it. I know for some reason that I am a wayfarer at heart, I'm not meant to force myself into a box of normalcy that most people are okay with. Which is okay, because it's okay for them. But it's not okay for me. I've struggled with it the past few months and I realize that I have to come to terms with the fact that I will have to take the solitary path most of the time from now on. Although it seems daunting, I am also realizing that it is liberating beyond my wildest imagination and hope. God is holding my hand, I know the things He has whispered in my heart and mind. I'm not crazy. I'm just heading in the direction He is leading me - even though at times it won't make sense to our 'sensible' minds or by the world's standards. 

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