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Wayfarer By Faith



At some stage, all of us are called to face our point of no return. By that, I mean that stage in life where you choose to go or not to go; where you say yes or no to God, in regards to a specific calling or direction you are about to take.

The point of no return is when you say yes to God and surrender your plans wholly to Him. The point of no return is when you fall in love with the people He has called you to bless and reach and show compassion to. The point of no return is when you forge those heart and soul relationships with difficult people and begin to cross the barriers that were once so impossible to break down. The point of no return is when you realize that this tough thing is your calling, your destiny. Then instead of fighting it, or giving in to doubt and fear, you begin to embrace it along with all its challenges. This is the point of no return – when you realize that this is God’s best for you. And nothing else will satisfy you anyway, no matter how enticing all these ‘other’ things appear to be at times.

Since I got back from my first trip to Africa this February, I was on the ‘cusp’ of my very own point of no return. I could still turn away from it all and tell God, ‘Yeah it was an amazing trip, but I don’t think I’ll ever go back to do harder things.’ I could have thought to myself, ‘Now I’ve got some fine experiences down for my future resume, I can get back to life in Australia quite comfortably.’ But for some reason, I just knew that there was going to be more. It was a ‘taster’ trip, and also a test of my personal resolve in seeking God’s purpose for my life. When I came back, I knew that there were things I needed to let go right here in Australia. I needed to focus on where God was leading me, and relinquish my own well-crafted plans.

And you know what God was telling me? He was telling me to spend the most part of 2015 with Him: just to sit and soak in his presence; to read and reflect on his word; to sing songs and write songs; to wait on him for the next thing. Now that’s a hard thing to do. I’m prone to saying yes to many things and most people. I have a tendency to want to move and do and go, go, go! The fact that I’ve spent the last 7 months doing very little apart from reading (I’ve read over 40 books in this time period), playing music, songwriting, teaching music, and serving at a local church made of predominantly Sudanese young people, is itself miraculous. I’ve stopped all my socializing and meeting up with people. I’ve stopped going out and watching movies whenever I felt like it (yes I used to do that all the time when I was in university!). I’ve stopped all the other things that used to distract me. It wasn’t easy at first, saying no to things. But after a month or two, I began to enjoy this luxury of ‘rest’ and just spending more and more time with God. Now I'm able to say yes to some of these things again in the right measure, but also in light of my daily reality with God - which really changes everything!

It was only when I began to take the time to listen to God and let His love sink deep into my heart that I began to change my outlook and attitude. I began to strive less and serve more (I’m still learning this!). I began to relinquish my critical attitude and become more aware of my subtle veneer of pride. I began to discover more fully my identity in Jesus Christ, and this inexpressible joy and peace began to flood into my existence. Although I had to go through some dark moments, now I look back and realize that those were my defining points of choosing. Would I give up on seeking God just because I was going through a tough time, or would I press on and dig deeper? Would I give up on the people God has called and led me to love and serve, or would I stay put and keep giving until there was a breakthrough?

Now I can only look back with immeasurable thankfulness to God for keeping me through and making sure I didn’t give up and go on with my self-assured life plans that were so ingrained in me before my first African trip. Now I really can’t thank God enough for His grace. He wanted to lead me to this point of no return. I can now see all those times where I was tempted and enticed to go just the opposite direction – to do my own thing, to rebel against God’s best purposes, to run my own life with people whom I weren’t meant to journey with. But thank God! Those wrong turns were intercepted as I realized that I was going downhill. And it felt awful – although at first it seemed great. Needless to say, I came running back to God, who really was with me all along. My heart began to sink into the right place again, and then I had to make those decisions to stay put in the right place with the right people I needed to be with for this season.

And now I’ve gone deeper along the point of no return. I truly feel now that I can’t go back to where I once was. A dog should never return to his vomit. There’s really nothing great about it. I see it now. In a few weeks I’m heading back to Rwanda and I’m forever grateful to God for keeping me on track every time I’ve veered off track. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t be making this trip. If I didn’t spend all those daily two to four hours with him, away from everything else, I wouldn’t be making this trip. If he didn’t teach me to persevere and to do the hard yards, I wouldn’t be making this trip and progressing along the path He has called me to.

In the end, the point of no return is when I realize God’s love for me (and you) is really so immeasurable and that nothing else in this world could satiate my soul-hunger for His presence. I want nothing else but to be where He has called me to be. All those other things that used to entice me now pale in comparison to how beautiful and deep and faithful and loving God is to me through Jesus Christ my Saviour and Friend.
 
Had an incredible day with 20 creative highschoolers at Kabiria slum! I was invited back by Ps. Isaac Watembo who founded the school, cause these guys were so eager to workshop their songs with me again. It was SO much fun and this time they really got out of their comfort zone and came up with some awesome stuff. In the end I got everyone to hold hands in a circle and we prayed together, that they'll have the opportunity even in such tough places to discover and develop their gifts, that we'd be able to work together again soon. And I've seen these guys and girls. They've so much in them. I believe it. 



I woke up this morning and looked out the window. An orange glow streamed through the colourful, patterned curtains. The trees outside were tinged with the fiery yellow of the breaking dawn. I could hardly believe it. I was waking up in Africa. I am now in Zimbabwe. I think it will take a few days for this surreal realization to fade away. Or perhaps it never will.

I am living at the ACTS missions team house in the north of Harare with a few other missions volunteers from Melbourne and Perth. It is amazing when I think about how God connected me once again with such like-minded individuals to share the first two weeks of my time in Zimbabwe. One of them is Lucinda De Vos, a 21 year old chicka whom I had never met in my life, but who turned out to share the exact same passions in music, teaching music, working with children with special needs, and music therapy! And of course most recently, coming to Africa. Honestly, if we truly just lived in a purposeless, accidental world, what are the chances I meet someone like that on the exact trip I am planning with all this in my mind’s eye and heart’s vision for the future!? It is unbelievable and yet something I somehow expected – because I had specifically asked God for it! I wanted to embark on my Africa trip knowing people who shared the same vision and convictions in life – it sure does make the journey a lot more fun and exciting.

Today was my first Sunday in Zim. I had the privilege of joining a pioneering ministry called ONE Church in a suburb called Avondale. It was such a great thing to join a bunch of believers – a mix of missionaries, local white and black Zimbabweans, and visiting volunteers like myself – for a Sunday morning of praise and worship, and hearing God’s word. What always amazes me when I go someplace different and yet find myself among fellow Christians and believers, is the simple fact and feeling that these people – no matter how different they are from me – have also encountered the love and truth and hope of Jesus Christ where they’re at. I count it such a blessing to be able to hang out with these perfect strangers and yet know deep down that they aren’t strangers at all – because we are fellow sojourners on this life journey. By the grace of God, founded on the solid rock of faith in Jesus, we’re headed in the same direction and pursuing the same things in the kingdom of God.

One thing I keep writing about is the simple thing that every where I go, I intentionally ask God to lead me to the right people, and for Him to draw the right people to me. People who share the same heart and vision for serving God and living out their faith and love for Jesus by serving others wherever they may be. You could be in a wealthy country, or an impoverished slum, but you can still serve and bless others with what you have – you.

After church, I struck up a conversation briefly with a young chap named David who soon revealed that he was from England, and that he moved to Zim after university to work with Christian Aid and coordinate the advocacy program for Gender Equality here. We didn’t talk for long, but before I had to rush off, I just told him with all sincerity, ‘I’d love to hear more about your work here and what you do. Hope to meet again sometime!’ Then I had to say goodbye.

But just before we went off, he ran up to me and invited me to catch up again next week with a few other young people at the church for lunch at a sushi bar or something. We exchanged contact and that was that. I believe we’ll meet again!

I think it’s especially awesome when you cross paths briefly with those whom you’d never meet anywhere else, but if there’s that flicker of like-mindedness, it just draws people together no matter how short a time they have. I feel like I have been learning so much the last three years in all my travelling, volunteering and serving with different communities, that if you keep an open heart and an inquisitive mind, you will always meet other inspiring folk who can impact your life and teach you something new no matter how small it may be. And it makes me smile to think of it – that God would love us so much to bring the right strangers, friends, family, or even foes along our path every step of the way to shape us and grow us to be more like Him along this life-long odyssey. 

As if not enough things have already been happening the last ONE AND A HALF DAYS I’ve been in Zimbabwe, after church, we were invited to attend our first Zimbabwean wedding! The groom – Douglas – is one of the leaders working with ONE Church and he is going to start a ministry in an impoverished township called Hatcliffe. I will actually have the opportunity in the next few days to help out in the street kids ministry and orphanage projects there, so I will get to know Dougie and his wife. Anyhow, we were soon on our way to the venue as we trundled along in our run-down but immeasurably useful combi-van to the outskirts of Harare at a place called Westgate, where the ceremony and party was to be held. All along the way, you would see people milling about along the red-orange dusty road sides, selling maize, veggies, drinks, newspapers and the like. I figure people walk a lot here, any time of the day, even when it is pitch black at night (as most of the street lights are either non-existent or do not work).

The wedding was conducted almost entirely in Shona, the largest tribe in Zim and the most widely spoken language apart from English. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, the loud music, the lively dancing and whooping and cheering. The food was simple, but delicious – rice with potatoes, yellow sweet potatoes, a chunk of curried beef, veggies and a piece of chicken. It makes me so happy just to know that everywhere, people want to love and be loved – by God, who loves so unconditionally, and by our fellow man, who is learning to love by the transformative power of God’s grace :)

And as if all this was not enough, I was also invited by my dear friend Simba (a.k.a Marc) to join his girlfriend and his two younger siblings for a carols night Christmas event at Celebration Ministries – one of the largest churches in Harare. It was so, so, so great to have finally met Simba in person – to talk face to face and laugh face to face! It was equally awesome to meet his family, who has kindly offered to have me join them during the Christmas and New Year’s period after I have finished with my missions volunteering. I sent him a message afterwards saying, ‘I’m already convinced that I’ve met some of the best people in Zim now!’ And he replied, ‘And we have met one of the greatest people out of Australia.’ I just think he and his family are the friendliest people on the planet earth. How often do you find such genuinely kind and God-fearing people? And what more, to find them halfway across the world through the most impossible means? Out of millions of people in Africa and hundreds of thousands in Zimbabwe, this one person – Simba – found my blog and got in touch after reading one of my write ups? And because of this simple, thread-thin connection made possible through the precarious realm of the World Wide Web, I found another invaluable God-sent friend traversing the same path of faith and yet living in a place I had never thought to go to. Honestly! :) But as we always say, ‘God is good!’

Now I’m sitting in my room, in its lovely simplicity, journaling all this. I have some Hillsong worship music playing on my phone. And right now, I’m thinking, I’m gonna get off this and I need to sing some songs. I just feel so full – I’m bursting with the desire to thank God and sing out my gratitude for all He’s doing, not only in my life, but in every person I am meeting here and in every person I have met in Australia who has been part of my journey and instrumental in preparing me for this pivotal season of my life.

I trust God for tomorrow. It is in His mighty hands. The world will worry and fret and envy, but I want to be free. I am free in Jesus because of His love for me – it is the first and only thing that has brought me to this place of trust and freedom. Nothing else in this world satisfied me – nothing. Why do I write all this? Because I believe it, and I see this truth changing lives all around me who are also daring to take the leap of faith and reason. Through it all, God is enough for me.
My near-empty wardrobe!

If you see me wearing the same clothes the next few weeks it's because this is all I have left in my closet - everything else is either thrown out, in my backpack or in boxes. I've a feeling that I want to live a life full of new experiences and good changes rather than settle in the same place and live in a fancy house with a big closet full of stuff I don't really need. I guess life only allows you that much time and that much space for what matters. That's why I don't want my life to be cluttered by all the non-essentials. Last Sunday, I had the opportunity to speak at One Living Church in Dandenong where I have been serving recently with my African brothers and sisters and I felt compelled to speak about what I called The Undivided Heart. As the Psalmist David sang, 'Teach me Your way O God and I will walk in Your truth. Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.' (Psalm 86:11)

Life often gets so messed up and cluttered by all the stuff we allow our lives to get caught up by. Are they really that important? Or are we just trading one distraction for another? 

I've scrolled through quite a few travel blogs recently, and while I was often impressed by the number of countries some of these crazy backpackers have trawled through - how adventurous some of them were, and what mighty zest for life they had - I was also nudged by a feeling of futility at all this endless wayfaring. What is the point? Again, I like to ask myself why am I doing what I am doing or planning to do. People don't often stop to ask themselves this difficult question, because to stop is to listen, to listen is face up with the truth of the matter, and to face up with the truth is to change. It's confronting. So I think that's why a lot of people end up just traveling and going places in the name of 'adventure' or 'finding themselves', but in the end, here's my opinion - if you can't find yourself where you are, you won't find much else out there.

I've said it before that I don't want to just travel for the sake of travel. I don't want to see new places for the sake of having another new experience to my bucket list. That's not it. That is simply trading the monotonous life (a form of insanity for me) for yet another form of insanity - going places. What's the point? As King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes, 'All is vanity, all is grasping for the wind!'

What matters to me then? My faith, my family, my vocation. For me, I don't want to just stay in one place and do the same thing and hang with the same people and live the same way all my life. But I also don't want to make the mistake of living an epicurean lifestyle that is self-centered and hedonistic in the glorified name of 'living in the moment'. I want to go places, explore, take on new challenges, meet new people, learn new things whether I'm at home or somewhere out there in the world. But all in all, I want to discover my purpose in Christ, and along the way, meet other like-hearted individuals who are also set on the same things. I want to empower those who didn't get the opportunities I've had - whether it's in music or education or whatever else I've picked up along my journey. I'm convinced that each step of the way, as I trust God and take the next leap of faith, He shows me what's next - and this is the true life of adventure. Living by faith, enjoying the gift of life, being a blessing to others, using your passions and skills out of a heart of love for God and people! What a life. I want to live it with faith. I want to be an intentional wayfarer.

So it's gonna be an insane next few months! While I'm in Israel, my family will be moving house. That's why now I'm packing the stuff for my trip in advance and everything else in boxes. What a strange feeling to know I'll be coming back to a room I've never seen before. What is home? It's that feeling again, yes wherever I go I'm only passing through... Exciting!
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